The Penny a kakuhidan fic
by KylaiaJmaa
Summary: Kakuzu pays more attention to his money than to Hidan. How will Hidan try to pay him back? Rated T for repeated use of the F word, as well as some others.


The day was bright. The crisp air blew around the small town like an excited puppy—first one direction, then another. Kakuzu and Hidan strolled along quietly. For once Hidan wasn't swearing his head off, or screaming about Jashin. Life was good.

"You're the best boyfriend ever." Hidan stated, licking his strawberry ice cream.

"I know you are." said Kakuzu, taking a bite of his kids' cone.

"I love you Kakuzu."

"I love you too Hid—HOLY F---ING SHIT I FOUND A PENNY!"

Hidan turned and glared at his boyfriend, who was bent over to pick the penny off the sidewalk. "A _penny_?!" he shouted. "Am I really less important that a f---ing _penny_!?!"

Kakuzu was still examining the small copper-ish disc. "Nineteen-ninety-six" he muttered. "Good year." When he finally started paying attention to Hidan, he was overly calm. "Of course you're more important than a penny Hidan. But I've calculated that if I find one penny a week starting today, by the time we're twenty-one I will be able to buy 1 and 11/16 of a Hershey's bar for you. Don't you like chocolate?"

Hidan was not placated. "So now CHOCOLATE is more important than me!!!!!" Kakuzu did not reply. They walked back to the base in a stony silence. As soon as they got back Hidan went in their room and laid on the hard bed. _F---ing miser. Who does he think he's dating, the penny? And he should have bought us a more comfortable bed. He probably spent a f---ing penny on it He doesn't even care how I feel, all he cares about is his money. If someone offered him a dollar to turn me in he wouldn't think twice about it. He's so insensitive! Grumble grumble grumble. _

Meanwhile, Kakuzu walked into the room with the small silver safe in it, the one expensive thing in the house. He opened the door of the safe with his 16 number combo. The penny was then lovingly placed on the pile labeled 'Hidan's birthday money'. He marked a tally in the spot on the paper that said pennies. There were 1000 pennies, 13 nickels, 41 dimes, and 22 quarters. He closed the safe, locked the door of the room, and left silently. Because he was currently banished from their room he went and laid on the small plaid couch.

Just as he was dozing off, Deidara barged into the room, Sasori right behind. "Hi Kakuzu! How was your date un?"

"It was ok. Hidan got angry at me because I ignored him when I found a penny."

Deidara gasped. "You though a penny was more important than him? You are so insensitive un!"

Sasori shook his head. "it's just a penny Dei. What's the big deal? Hidan should know Kakuzu loves him; the penny was just interesting in the moment. I would do the same with a puppet."

"You would abandon me for one of your puppets un?! I can't believe I don't matter un!" Deidara ran from the room tearfully. Sasori was at a loss.

"Don't look at me." Kakuzu muttered. "I know as much as you do."

Deidara raced into Konan and Pein's bedroom. "Konan! Sasori loves his puppets more un!" Stopping to catch his breath, Dei saw Konan and Hidan sitting on the bed, their conversation paused.

"Let me guess, you and Sasori were talking to Kakuzu."

"Yes Konan un!"

"Semes." Hidan and Konan chorused.

Deidara sat down next to Konan on the bed. "What's wrong with him? He's being so cruel un!"

Sasori and Kakuzu had a plan. The plan was this: chocolate. Kakuzu had taken 12 quarters from his stash; Sasori had a 5 dollar bill in his pocket. They walked into town and into a drug store, and then walked out, with less cash, two bags, and complaints. "3 dollars! It's madness!" Kakuzu ranted.

When they got home Deidara and Hidan were standing in the living room, ready to do battle. "You two have a lot of making up to do un!"

Kakuzu walked up to Hidan. "I love you Hidan." The miser pulled a bar of Dagoba chocolate from his bag and handed it to his Hidan. All ills vanished.

"You spent this much on me?" Hidan asked in disbelief. "I f---ing love you Kuzu!"

On the other side of the room the same routine went on with Deidara and Sasori. Deidara glomped Sasori while yelling "Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU UN!!!!!!"

The semes breathed easier. The ukes ate chocolate. Everybody was happy, except for Tobi and Zetzu, who wanted to know why they weren't in the story.


End file.
